Thursday, September 28, 2006
i guess we all will have our bad days.. yesterday was really like one of those days la.. where things just dont go in you favour.. but today was kinda the opposite.. i kinda smiled alot and laughed alot today.. haha.. working today was much much better.. derrick also ORD today and he gave some of us a ORD meal at changi village...
sometimes i guess you really just got to just suck it all up and that the shit that is coming your way.. then things will definitely become alright.. hopefully tomorrow will be alright and dont kena from s3 again... haha..
going to bed now.. tomorrow got ippt.. duno if can pass sia.. so long never run liao.. and also been eating alot in office.. shaun vincent gang keep getting me good stuff to eat.. haha..
Josh Loh
10:06 PM
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
today was a day of mixed feelings.. today i won my important match for tennis.. and 9div managed to win 3-2 overall.. i nearly lost my match.. i was 6-3 down but slowly i caught up with my opponent and in the end i won 9-8.. haha...
then back to office i went.. i thought it was going to be a good day.. and finally i can solely concentrate on office work and no more in tennis.. but it was not to be la.. after lunch, wanted to settle down with my new temp card and start work.. clearing emails, and also doing my files.. but s3 grabbed me and sim into his office and gave us a good shelling sia.. haa. all the big ammo words all came out.. it was regarding some mob stuff i failed to get sim to send out.. and i'm partly to be blamed for the late sending.. cause i gave him late.. but then again, its because there is so much fucking work in office to do.. everyone will have something for me to settle like every five minutes.. so how to settle my stuff.. okok i should have focus on one stuff first then settle the rest.. but everyone like need me to settle their stuff immediately.. wtf.. haha.. how to focus? you tell me?
then nvm lor.. i'm at fault.. i just stay in the office and kept my head down... listen to him.. and felt guilty.. and nearly wanted to scream "i want to lead a normal life!!! i want to be posted out!!! i want no more of 23 SIB and NSOTS!!!!" but i just kept it all inside... then when we were sent back, i kinda cried at my desk.. cpt pat unfortunately saw me break down and i think sky also saw me.. haiz.. is it me or do i really cant take stress.. or am i the only one in office having so much to live up too.. i duno sia...
Josh Loh
10:39 PM
Monday, September 25, 2006
its difficult to be nice and to mis-use your power.. sim took off today and he only told me at 5.56am... when im still asleep.. so when i woke up later, its too late to call him to tell him that i need him in office today? so i let him go off lor... then in camp, i kinda got told by mdm agnes and MWO tang to be careful when i give my guys off.. will, how do you define within the limits and not over working him.. sim has done much work over the last few weeks.. so i thouht maybe i give him lor.. knowing that i still have kenneth to help me out.. so yeah.. back to my point.. what would you do if you were in my shoes?
then today, found out that my issac card was spoilt.. then i need to get a replacement card.. omg.. waste time and i cant do work when its the busy period.. wtf... anyway, i tried to settle my card as well as attend the briefing as well as finish my files for tomorrow.. then had to get it done with S3.. then by the time i got him to approve the stuff, it was 5.30.. kenneth left already and i din get a chance to ask him to stay back to help me with the files.. so nvm la.. i do myself.. then that was where i got guilty.. mdm agnes stayed back and helped me out.. i felt so guilty... i mean she has a family of her own and yet she stills stays back to help me out.. even when she can choose to leave early and go home to look after her family.. mdm agnes, thanks a billion!!! your the best.. haha..
Josh Loh
10:33 PM
Sunday, September 24, 2006
ever been in love before? or ever fell for someone before? i guess all of us have experienced it before... well, its a feeling which cannot be described in words.. guess im missing that feeling.. or maybe im just gettin too bored at home with nothing to do.. and boredom is taking control over me... haha.. some may think im gettin desperate.. well you may be right... but i will not rush into a relationship so soon.. there is just too many things in ots left undone till my understudy comes..(if he ever comes)
and because of ots, parents dun really understand why i cant take leave and why i cant take my driving license... they think that i do not want to take leave.. they think i dun want to drive around in a car? i do OK!!!.. its just that in ots, i never know when i will have to stay back to settle my work.. i know work will never end.. but having work on your mind at home really can tire you out.. its like you want to have fun and relax.. but on the other hand, there is work on your mind which you wished were settled... enough about ots... it will never ends.. cant wait for dec to come.. then i can start to smell my civillian life.. haha.. well, to those who are starting to clear leave, smell ord/rod, teaching your understudy, have a good time and thanks for all your help.. haha..
my angelic twin will be leaving for london to pursue her studies.. wish her all her best and dun forget this twin in singapore suffering.. haha... although i have met her, she is somehow like a younger sister of mine.. haha... its really weird.. but yeah.. its life..
Josh Loh
10:19 PM
ever envy others who have things which you can never get? like, having someone to love, having a place in uni, a car, a good family? well, today met some sispec friends and i really felt that they were all so much luckier than me.. i duno why, but just felt that way.. but i really had a good time with them.. a simple beef kway tiao and frog porridge.. followed by some soya milk with fried dough stick aka dou jiang you tiao.... next was a soccer match at my friends place...
mind is starting to run wild with all the stupid things... sometimes i really wished i could have someone or something to control the mind.. its really can be a big pain in the ass at times.. kinda admire people who can write really well, as in that they can put across what they have in their mind on the blogs.. if only i could be half as good as them.. and if only i could be like so many other people... if only.. always wondered why there is always a "IF ONLY" in life...
Josh Loh
12:52 AM
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
i am officially depressed over today's match and also for the upcoming event in NSOTS... ltc andrew and cpt patrick let me off for my tennis match against armour today.. i rushed down with aizat to stagmont.. reached there and after awhile, match started.. played like shit sia.. no groundstrokes at all.. so it soon became 7-0.. i was using my new racket which i bought over the week end and regretted that move.. should have stay with my old racket till after the competition.. too late though.. soon it was wall over.. 9-2.. what a shit score.. next match is on friday against 3rd div.. its a make or break match for our team.. win and we are through.. lose and we are out...
everytime i think about nsots, i will can only think about how i am going to overcome all the stuff that is left undone... i really am trying hard to get all things done asap.. but with all the adhoc stuffs to settle, it sometimes really gets really tough to settle... aiya... fuck it.. no point bitching la.. i'll just do it and get it over and done with.. its not like anyone when thank you for the job well done.. sometimes i really feel sad when good work isnt recognised in nsots.. its like, the officers always tend to overlook the job well done by our clerks.. without them, i think i would be in a coffin now.. really... without them, i am nothing... really nothing.. two more days of briefing to give.. hope it can go by with little problems..
Josh Loh
9:51 PM
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
do really have a damn stressed look at work when all the work is piling onto me? everyone who sees me in office when im really busy always ask me not to be stressed.. well, i cant help but be stressed.. i mean i want to do my work with 100%.. and i dont like to do f**ked up work.. but sometimes i have to not give my 100% as there is sometimesa really too much work for me to do.. i really am trying.. i dont want to boast, but i also wished that people would recognise the work that i have done..
like what vincent mention on his entry, MOB is coming closer.. and tomorrow will be the first hurdle to overcome..sim , myself, eng long and chris plus mdm agnes stayed back to help sort out the stuff for tomorrow.. haven got the chance to thank mdm agnes for always reminding me about the stuff that i miss out.. duno what will happen to me if she wasnt around...
all one thing i guess i needa say to all in NSOTS eventhough not all read my blog.. please pardon me if i do hurt you feelings or anything.. sometimes i really dont wish to be to hurtful with my words.. i just want to find a way to destress, and also try to make a better friend with you guys.. andrew, when if i ever said anything that have hurt you in anyway, im sorry.. i dont mean any harm.. vincent, really big thanks to you all these while in NSOTS.. even when your busy with arrows from S3, rsm, cpt pat and maj yang, you still do your best to try to help me... really thanks you so much.. hope you can rod in peace.. haha.. shaun, thanks for all the help for 'MY UNIT' and also with mob questions that i have asked you.. sim and kenneth, you guys are under me and i know you two are workig really hard.. want to thank you both for doing whats given to you two.. sim, my words might have been harsh yesterday.. but i just want to help you.. i hate it when ever you say you want to stay back to finish your work.. and i also know the stress that you have from s3, rsm and also me.. i will not forget you.. so hopefully we can work together and get this freaking mob over and done with.. eng long, thanks for standing by me.. thanks for being such a great buddy... your exams are nearing and i wish you all the best.. and hopefuly we can both enter the same university... study hard and may you find yl's hp number soon.. and lastly to all that helped me during my time so far, appreciate all the help you gave me..
Josh Loh
10:16 PM
forgot to add that when i was at sheng siong supermarket, i heard "I THINK I LOVE YOU" from the full house drama serial.. when i heard it, AGAIN, it hit me straight in the face.. sian.. damn sian.. but like what my evil twin said today, she will soon come...
Josh Loh
10:16 PM
Monday, September 18, 2006
another lousy week has passed.. and yet another lousy week ahead.. well, at least my favorite soccer team won their match tonight.. so its still an ok week i guess.. saturday was kind of lazy la.. met vincent in the afternoon cause i promised i would accompany him to watch his cousin's play.. so we went to PS cause he had to collect some stuff then we ate at long john before heading over to DBS arts centre for the play.. actually the play was not bad la.. but abit too long winded.. anyway after that, we headed to his dad's shop for some abalone noodle and fried tofu.. then i went back home and slept till sunday morning..
sunday morning came and i woke up hungry but seeing that my parents were both busy with their own stuff, i ate three mooncake which my mum baked before they took me out for lunch.. we went to jalan besar for turtle's soup.. i just had a bowl of soup and mum was kinda surprised that i did not order any rice to go with the soup.. then i told her i ate three mooncakes before coming out, and she just laughed at me... after having lunch, we went shopping for titbits at sheng siong market over at tekka mall.. the place damn big sia.. haha.. i bought instant noodles, apollo cake and also lemon biscuits.. after sheng siong, we went to get light bulbs at bedok.. i have my carving of ice cream settled when i had an ice cream cone from mr bean.. their soya ice cream was kinda good. but the taste was a little weird at first.. but i grew to enjoy the ice cream... then went back home and played a little psp before i fell asleep on my bed.. dad woke me up and we went for dinner before they left for kl and i went to kelvin's place to watch chelsea and arsenal win.. haha... thats all for this weekend and i try to update asap...
PRAY HARD!~!~! NO MORE ARROWS...
Josh Loh
2:05 AM
Sunday, September 10, 2006
yet another weekend gone.. friday had training for the upcoming interformation then took half a day off to meet dewie for lunch at enuos before heading home.. had a really nice talk with dewie over lunch. she kinda got me worrying whether anot i will find someone who will love me for who i am... i always had a worry that i will not find her.. im afraid that she will be put away by my sweaty palms and that i sweat super easily.. in the past relationship i had, i always got kinda upset when im holding her hand walking down the street then my hands starts to sweat and she will say me.. well, hopefully i will find one girl who will look at whats inside me then what is outside.. den i rested at home for awhile before meeting jek hao, cheh yong, choon yao, kok, mich for a steamboat dinner at kallang. the dinner was alright la.. then went over to karen's house to watch 'da nan ren, xiao nan ren' then watched the ghost whisperer then went home..
saturday was lunch in the afternoon with teng yong and ian who i have not met for so long... we had pasta mania at parkway before going to kallang tennis court to play tennis with shannon.. stupid shannon keep suaning me that i damn lousy.. then she herself also making mistakes.. idiot la... anyway it was fun to be able to play with them again after so long.. lets do it again soon..
then after tennis, i met jae hee, eugene, bevan, jen wei, and decki for dinner at marina square.. we had a really good time over dinner. just talking cock over dinner and doing stupid things that we usually did during secondary school days.. then after dinner, we had a good time over pool.. but pool ended into playing PSP la... we were playing half way.. then when i brought out my PSP, they all started to want to play the PSP rather than playing pool.. what the hell sia.. haha.. but anyway it was great to have met up with them... then while, on the way back, i saw andrew form nsots, called out his name but he did not reply.. to engrossed in his entertaining his partner la..
sunday soon came and i woke up at 2 in the afternoon.. di not eat till i had dinner with my parents before my dad took the bus up to KL to work.. then after dinner, wanted to watch the F1 grand prix.. but played tennis with dinesh and his brothers and jason... it was training for jason and i as we will be joining a doubles tournament in two weeks time.. damn scared... we both arent playing that well, and we could not even win one set..
time to go to bed and get ready for tennis tomorrow and then back to office to fight arrows all over again..
Josh Loh
11:22 PM
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
im really tired.. tired from training and also the work that is coming my way in office. well, i guess running away from it is no way out.. maybe my mind is still messed up over the things that have happened recently and also about the future... guess i will just have to suck it up and get on with life..
i would also like to thanks all those friends who have said many encouraging words to me to get me to pull through these tough time... you guys and girls know who you all are.. and please remember that i am always thinking about you people.. and please meet up with me soon really bored over the weekends..
Josh Loh
10:17 PM
Monday, September 04, 2006
last night i had this really good dream. but one that will never come true. well, i dreamt that i was holding my ex girlfriend's hand and we were having the best time in this college overseas.. i felt as though it was real and i felt as though i was smiling throughout the dream. it really felt good. but guess it will not happen.. may i have the strenght to overcome this stage of my life.. anyway, office was kinda alright today. guess tomorrow will be a little more hectic. there's ippt to conduct and also some more arrows to settle in office.. hope it'll be alright tomorrow. good night to all those reading this..
i love you guys for standing by me. really.. thank you so much..
Josh Loh
10:11 PM
