Sunday, October 30, 2005
i'd reali nelgected tis blog. i forgot wad it was like to be able to blog whenever i wan to. but how times hav changed. im now in the army and dun hav much time for anything at all. no time to slp, no time to watch tv, no time to play tennis and no time to spend wif my darlin. i truly miss those times before i enlisted. working, playin tennis and always havin her by my side. those times wil onli be part of the memory that will remain in me. ever since comin to ocs, life has nv been the same. i feel as tho i jus went on a roller coaster ride. there were times when i was reali happy and there were times when i was reali sad. n wad made things worst is the fact that i cant tell anybody. i barely have to to even call her at nite. and she oso cant tok for long as she has to study for the A's. it also worries me that i might jus lose her to another guy. we hav been together for close to 11mths already. the first few months were reali good times tat i wanna relive agi. recently, i'd become more n more frightened to tink abt losin her. i hate it tat i cant be there for her when she needs me most. i hate it tat i cant tok to her as long as i wan to. i hate it tat im in army now. i hate the A's. i hate everything tat prevents me frm being wif her. i duno if she understands tat i reali wish to be beside her and hav her close to me. i wonder if she wil ever get tired of waitin for the weekends to get her chance to see me. i wonder if another guy wld come in n take her away frm me. and in a weeks time, i'll be gg to brunei for trainin and she wil be havin her exams. its good and bad tat i'll be gone for two and a half weeks. good tat she wun be distracted by me and bad that i cant be there for her during tis tough period. i hope i'll be given a chance tis week to hav a good time wif her. but i tink it wil be quite difficult as she has to study as tis is her last week to do so. wad m i to do? i reali wan to noe a ans. reali feel lyk cryin now but wad wil cryin do to me? help me feel beta for awhile? guess i just hav to find a solution to tis prob soon. really soon.
Josh Loh
5:52 PM
