Tuesday, June 27, 2006
a last post before i call it a day and be a good and and go to bed... dont know why but recently have been thinking about when we just met.. the long phone calls at night and the constant sms to each other... somehow i feel that im reliving those days again.. dont want to think too much into it though.. maybe i am kidding myself.. or maybe its just my mind playing tricks on me.. but somehow, i feel happy again after so long.. and you kinda brought this happiness into my life.. thank you so much and hope we can continue to be good friends.. heez..
Josh Loh
11:24 PM
was ill the past two days.. feelings better now and got to go back to camp tmr.. dont really feel like going back as it would mean work is going to start again.. but well, im in the army and not on holiday.. so time to gear up and get ready for camp.. haha.. anyway, recently, soverynn and huiqian came back to spore and we met up during the weekend.. then we went to sing at kbox and i swear my voice sucks la!!! well, besides that, i went to send jesslyn, my tennis junior, off at the airport.. she is going to australia to study and i will miss her smile.. take care in australia jess.. then came monday.. got woken up by a phone call from camp and i knew that i overslept.. then i told him that i would go and see a doc.. went to see the doctor and she said asked how many days mc i needed.. i didnt say anything and she gave me two days with 1 week excuse physical activities.. then went back home and rest.. took my medicine after lunch and slept from 11am till dinner time.. guess i was ill due to the late nights and early mornings.. well, finally recharged my body and im all ready for tomorrow.. hope there isnt much to do in camp tmr.. haha..
Josh Loh
10:27 PM
Saturday, June 24, 2006
many things happened this week... some were meaningful while others made me realise how fragile the human heart can be... well, thursday, my sister's idol dream ended when she was not in the top 12 and neither was she in the wildcard show.. after the show, watching her cry from far, you can feel the pain hitting you.... you can feel the pain that she is going through.. but i could do nothing to console her, as we were not allowed to go to the stage... well, i waited outside at the reception with huihuan... when she came out, she was alright.. she hugged her fans and said thanks to them for making it down... then when i hugged her, her tears just kept flowing.. at that point of time, all i could do was just to hold her in my arms and let her pour everything out.. i also told her some words of advice.. told her that she has done her best.. she gave it her all but she wasnt just good enough.... she should be proud and hold her head up high.. getting to the top 28 is by no way and easy feat... be proud of yourself and stay strong... its not the end of the world.. also told her that whatever tears she has, to leave it inside the studio.. let it remain there and not bring it out of the studio... its over and she has to move on to the next impt thing in her life.. her A levels.. its time for her to focus on that... it may take awhile to get over this saddness, but she is strong-willed and im sure she will be ok with the support of the family..
after that, i allowed her to go out with the remaining idols for supper.. din want to restrain her as she already had a tough night... then i made my way down to holland village with hui for a light supper... we ordered a bowl of congee, har kao and a plate of carrot cake.. all of which were damn good.. the congee was one with she recommended... so we had a good time chatting and taking photos.. we took turns to share our life stories.. and it felt really good to have a nice chat with her.. its been so long.. and so many things has happened n our lifes and finally we could share it with one another.. so after that, i sent her home and made my way back...
then friday came.. went back to OCS echo wing to meet LTA eric and the new batch of guys.. almost the whole platoon came back.. and it was really great to see each and everyone of them...each of them played a part in supporting me through OCC and also during my breakup... really brought back fond memories that i had with them at that wing... so really went through thick and thin in that 9mths.... now we are all in different camps and doing different things... when we shared out experiences with the new cadets, hearing them speak from there heart, made me feel a sense of nostaliga... memories of what they said would flow through me mind as they speak..at the end of the talk, LTA eric thanked us for going back.. he also said that the main reason of asking us back wasnt reallly to share our experience with them.. but it was meant to test the bond of the platoon.. and he was really pleased with the result.. then we went to al-azhar for supper... and he also said that we all have not changed much from our cadets days and that this would most probably be how our personality will be like for the rest of our life... he does makes some sense...
wonder what me personality is like in other people's mind.. if only i could read minds..
Josh Loh
6:25 PM
Sunday, June 18, 2006
its been a boring weekend in my opinion.. did not really do much over the weekend.. saturday was mainly spent with my parents.. spent the whole day with them lor.. some may say its filial.. but dont think its that way.. i would want to spend at least a meal with my family, dont get me wrong.. but i would also love to have my friends ask me out over the weekends.. really bored doing nothing at home lehz... i basically rot in front of the computer the whole day... went to support my younger sister at her singapore idol road show at WISMA.. she had flowers from one of her supports.. well, i support her for the competition.. but what i dont want to see if the change in her attitude.. before the competition, she already had a little problem with her attitude.. but ever since then , she has changed for the worst... well, i want her to learn from her idol experience.. and change to become a better person.. or at least understand the importance of her family and friends.. for now, i only feel that she has her friends in front of her family.. she stil does have meals with us.. but somehow, she still treats her from as her first priority than family...
anyway off to sunday, well, woke up, went for my aunt's father's birthday cum father's day celebration... ate at merchant court hotel's cafe... quite good the food.. but can be better la.. i think my parents has spoilt my taste.. they keep buying the best food around in town and now when i eat something that i ate before, and if its not up to standard, i will complain say the other place is better.. but i think that others will find it quite good to their standard.. haha.. haiz.. nvm la.. then after, lunch, went to jek hao's house warming party and played PS2 there... was quite a nice place.. haha. then went to have dinner with my whole family.. haha.. parents left for KL liao.. so guess this coming week i'll have to settle dinner myself.. anyone free for dinner?
Josh Loh
10:33 PM
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
irritated by alots of stuff.. army... life... family... almost anything and everything can irritate the living hell out of me!!!!! i hate this feeling.. i feel like shouting at someone now... jus let it all out... curse and swear!!!! oh my goodness... duno whats happening leh... wah lau.. crap la... hopefully it doesnt cause any of my friends to change their impression of me... sorry friends... hope you all understand...
Josh Loh
12:52 AM
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feel better for awhile.. damn irritated lehz.. but i dunno why im feeling so s**t now... just cant stand it!!!!! i wanna be happy.. i wanna be free... i dun wan to be pulled down and i dun wanna be in sorrow... i hate army.. and i hate life... im just glad that i have friends all around to ease the pain inside... being alone at night doesnt help abit... having a mind that keeps wondering and thinking about stupid things doesnt help... argh!!!!! dunno what to write and how to describe what i feel inside.. i can only sum it up in two words.... F**KED UP!!!!
Josh Loh
12:52 AM
Monday, June 12, 2006
well well... yet another weekend gone and another entry to this(hopefully) never ending blog.. its the world cup season yet again... and many people will lose or win money.. thats for sure... anyway, frida evening was kinda tiring... ran 6km at east coast park.. but it felt good.. feels good to have exercise again... then sat came... went for dinner with my parents and younger sister... then i left to kel's place for soccer and some blackjack... then went back home for a good long rest..
sun came and im kinda excited to meet hui.... so long since i last met her... she always so busy lor.. but she is a really close friend of mine that i will never want to lose... she was always there whenever i was sad.. she would say things to make me feel better and its hard for suh friends to come... anway, we met for dinner and a movie at marina square... we walked around a little looking for a ATM for her to draw some money... then we walked a little more to find some nice jap food as we lost our orientation.. we ate at sakae sushi... ordered a little too much la!!! nearly could not finish our food.. but we talked quite abit.. and asked eash other alot of stuff.. felt really good to have catch up with her after so long..... then we watch the show and i took a ride back home from her...
lastly, somethings has been bugging me for so long.. felt like letting this out for a long long time and finally i have the time to do it.. its kinda sad la.. but i got to let it out.. then only will i feel better.... my younger sister has changed alot ever since she joined spore idol... she has become a little too rebellious to my liking at least. i mean, if she doesnt like us(family) talking about her idol stuff then tell us la.. dun give attitude... it sucks ok.. i wanna tell her straight in her face.. but i feel bad doing it.. so i jsut tahan... really cant stand her for showing attitude to my parents over dinner yesterday... then she also getting more and more wild.. coming back later then i usually come home la.. i latest latest also 1am will be at home liao.. nowadays, she isnt even home at 1... i mean wth... your still young, dad and mum still has responsibility for your safety lehz... cant you spare a thought for them.. you think they are restricting you? your totally wrong.. you dunno how much they have given in to you just because YOU wana join this competition.. because of YOUR choice, they have sleepless nights.. thinking about how you will do and feel and get worried about you falling ill.. and all you do its always show them attitude when they show concern for you... if we dun show you concern, you will also cpmplain, say that we not supportive.. and always dun let you do what you wan... so now that you are doing what you like, can you just stop and spare a thought for mummy and daddy!!! really hope she reads this... and understand my point... really hope she does..
Josh Loh
12:52 AM
Sunday, June 04, 2006
sometimes when you have nothing to do, and your mind just starts to wonder about every little thing that happens in life.... it can really get on your nerves.... i really hate myself when i start to stone into thin air and start to dream about stupid things.. even when people around me are talking, i still can drift out of the conversation and think about irrelevant stuff... really irritates the shit out of me sia... i hate myself when i do that.. BUT, i ALWAY do that... what can i do to stop it from happening?
think i have been watching too many love shows or tv serials... once i see those couples on screen, it activates the other person inside me to talk over my mind and think about the past... is it me? or do most people do what i do... well well, life has to go on.. sometimes i really have fun with the people around me.. i really enjoy myself when i am having fun.. but when im all alone, it can get really moody and touchy....
Josh Loh
11:46 PM
feeling kinda moody now.. feeling kinda lost too.. duno what this feeling mean.. but it just feels weird... hui, i know how you feel... you got to hold on.. stand firm... it wil soon be over... just hang in there... anyway, it was a long week at ITI... but it was ok la... had some hiccups... but recovered from it... anyway, friday night had dinner with selina... ate at a coffee shop nearby her place.. then saturday, in the afternoon, met lim, kenny and brian.. then went to have a look at the IT fair.. there wasnt much la.. but was DAMN crowded.. after that, went to eat at cartel and went to raffles city to have fried mars bar WHOOO... the four of us was getting high after eating the mars bar and having milk tea from MOS... then went to parkway to have dinner and i got a speaker for my computer... then went to lim's place to watch england win 6-0.. then today came.. went to eat Ah Yat with parents and sis.. the lunch was so heavy sia.... then went home for awhile before heading out again to meet lim and gang.. ate at marche and went to walk walk around the area... then ended up at the arcade where we killed most of our time and went our seperate ways... on my way home, kept shannon company through sms... dont really want to go to work tomorrow.. but got to do some stuff before i forget.. so time to sleep..
Josh Loh
11:46 PM
