Sunday, August 29, 2004
seeing you upset makes me upset.. seeing you smiling brings a smile in my heart.. and making you happy is what i want to do even if it means not being with you.. i will always be here if you need a friend or if you need a listening ear.. i do cherish you..
Josh Loh
2:26 AM
had a chemistry practical yesterday.. did not really study for it though.. and i was kind of scared while i was in the LT.. then when the practical started, it was not that bad after all.. managed to finish the paper.. and was kind of glad that i was in school when my teacher gave hints for the practical.. chemical kinetics came out.. and i tink i got that right.. but after chemical practical, life was a breeze.. haha... i went out for lunch first before sitting in front of the computer in the library till 3.30pm.. after that was just pure joy.. played tennis till 8pm.. there was teng yong, ashwin, ian, jesslyn, shannon and benjamin.. i played a mixed doubles with jesslyn and we won ian and shannon.. 6-4.. after that, we left to kovan for BugerKing dinner.. after that, took a VERY cold bus back home and slept..
Josh Loh
12:46 AM
Thursday, August 26, 2004
it isn't easy to please everyone everytime you do something.. but i give it my best to accomodate to everyone.. sometimes even having to compromise with myself.. you try your hardest to keep a smile.. but its just difficult to fight these feelings inside of me.. each time when i think i took a small step forward.. within seconds, i take a HUGE fall backwards.. and it just knocks me back to where i started from.. but somehow or another, i find strength within myself to recover and stand up and start walking again.. i guess life's journey is meant to be like this.. i'm slowly getting the hang of it now.. i'll just become stronger whenever i fall down..
i wil not give up this chance i have..maybe i having been putting in too must effort.. but rest assure, i cherish the opportunity that you have given me..
Josh Loh
11:18 PM
Tuesday, August 24, 2004
lost? tired? distracted? confused? love?
Josh Loh
11:02 PM
i'm not a perfect person.. and i'm sure that no one can say they are perfect either.. soemtimes when we say things, we might think that it is fun or amusing.. but you do not really know what is that person feelings deep down inside.. and when we become a victim of such things, we do not like the feeling either.. so it is normal for person to feel agressive towards such things.. i guess what people say is true.. we should always put ourselves in other people's shoe and try to see how they might feel before taking any actions..
Josh Loh
10:45 PM
Sunday, August 22, 2004
i hate days like this.. its just one of those days when you just don't feel like yourself.. its like you don't wish to be feeling down or anything.. but you have no control over it.. your just helpless.. you cannot fight it.. it just takes control over you..
I HATE THIS FEELING.. i just wish i were dead..
Josh Loh
3:24 PM
after not blogginf for such a long time, i suddenly feel like typing non-stop.. haha.. well i shall talk about today then.. in the morning i went to school for tennis... played a short while before heading for swimming meeting to elect the ex-co.. after that, it was back to tennis.. played with jess, ian, ashwin and teng yong.. shaun, daniel n varun were there too.. anywae we played till abt 1.50.. then ashwin, ian, teng yong and shannon wanted to leave for lunch.. but jess and i wanted to play somemore.. so we told them we wld find them at kovan later.. we played for about half an hour more before joining them at heartland macdonalds.. had a quick lunch before i had to rush home.. cause my elder sister was having a photo shoot.. cause she just graduated from SMU.. *good job jie* it was kind of like a family photo shoot.. so i had to dress up formally.. it felt funny at first, but i guessed i got used to it.. haha.. it went kind of well.. but it was tough smiling for 10min.. now i know being a model isnt that easy as i thought it would be.. after the photo taking, we send my sister to her friend's place before heading home.. we got home, rested for awhile and then left to my dad's friend's place for dinner.. it was a gathering for his university classmates or something of that sort.. the adults had fun talking.. while my and my younger sister just sat there n stoned.. haha.. after that, i came back home and came online.. haha.. quite a long day today..
Josh Loh
12:36 AM
well.. another long week has passed.. have not been blogging much.. cause there isnt much to tell you people about actually.. basically my life now is go school.. stay back after school to study till 9pm.. and after studying, i'll go home and then come online to clear my emails and maybe chat with some friends.. then go to sleep.. haha.. i know its not much of a life.. but i have no choice.. i chose this path last year and i must see it through.. fri was pretty fun.. went out with the tennis team ppl.. we wanted to play tennis, but it rained so we jus went to town.. took 132 which took 45min.. then went to get ashwin's racket at lucky plaza.. after that, we went 'shopping' at hereen.. saw shannon there but did not say hi to her.. she also did not say hi to us either.. then jess saw some clothes which she thought was nice.. but she did not really shop much cause she felt uneasy to shop with so many guys.. after shopping, we decided to head to meridian for dinner.. wanted to eat feather's & fin.. but jess did not want to.. so we ate at a food court instead..had a good chat after dinner n after tat we went our seperate ways.. i managed to have the honour to sent jess home.. but her mum was waiting at the overhead bridge for her.. so that scene was kind of funny.. haha.. hard to explain.. but i survived it i guess.. haha
Josh Loh
12:23 AM
Sunday, August 15, 2004
guess it has been some time since i last blogged.. well cos i'd been studyin in sch almost everyday till 9 at nite.. then when i get home, i clear my email n then i'll go to slp.. its lyk a daily routine for me now.. thank goodness for good study partners lyk jess n shannon.. haha.. or nt i wun be studyin but tokin most of the time.. anywae i reali got to start my revision.. its lyk sometimes jess n shan ask me maths, i lyk duno how to do.. den heng gt man xin or nt i oso duno how to teach them.. it has made me realize tat my maths is reali weak compared to bio n chem.. so i guess its time i studied for maths n nt procastinate any longer.. i got to start right now.. or not i wil nv get a A for maths..
Josh Loh
11:32 PM
Wednesday, August 11, 2004
I think I sorted out my thinking already.. well maybe sometimes we do feel upset over liking someone or getting rejected by the girl that yu had a secret crush.. but in the end, life still have to go on.. no matter how sad you may feel, or how heartbroken you will be, we got to move on.. all I want is for you to be happy with whoever u decide to be with.. and i hope that he treats u better than i would.. haha.. life should be about being happy with the people around you right? so thats what I am going to do from now on.. just to be happy..
Josh Loh
11:00 PM
Sunday, August 08, 2004
pardon my language for tis entry..
IM FEELING SUPER FUCKED UP RIGHT NOW!!!! i tot tat stayin over at my frens place wil make things beta.. but no.. it has onli managed to distract me frm the stuff tats makin me feel lyk shit..
IM SO GOING TO LOSE IT LIAO!!! its tough keepin secrets.. n i noe its a bastard to tell ppl things tat u wun suppose to say.. but somethings u jus say things without even noein. as in u r tryin to keep the secret, but u jus accidently say it without urself knowin it.. tat feeling jus sucks ok.. so im gg to say sorri to the ppl whom i betrayed by lettin the secrets out.. im veri sorry..
Josh Loh
4:25 PM
Friday, August 06, 2004
i tot it was a sucky day liao.. then my com had to screw up jus as i wanna post my entry..now i forgot wad i wanna say liao.. haiz.. i hate myself.. dun ask me why i feel lyk tis now.. my life is jus crap now.. i'll be fine.. so ppl, dun worry abt me.. i jus wanna wear a mask wif a bright n cheery smile everyday.. n let ppl see tat im happy.. mayb on the outside.. i dunno wad im tokin now.. im jus v confused now i guess.. i jus need alone time..
Josh Loh
11:58 PM
Thursday, August 05, 2004
tis week has been lyk a roller coaster ride emotionally.. my moods reali swang up n down all week till now.. *haiz* n im nt sure if it has stabilized yet.. did i oso mention tat each day tis week has been a physical challenge too.. fightin to complete all my work n yet get enuf rest in the nite.. onli managed to half complete tat challenge.. fin most of my work, but was super tired mentally.. esp as there was a chem test one tue..den today, bio gt tis surprise test on biological molecule n cell structure.. i was *stunned* din noe it was comin.. anywae manage to do it i guess.. lastly, MY BRACES HURTS BADLY!! n tmr they havin tennis outin.. haiz.. its time to not eat agi.. *sianz*
Josh Loh
11:05 PM
Sunday, August 01, 2004
sun nite.. shld be doin my homework, cos i studied for my final theory test all day.. but stil haven fin yet.. how.. die liao.. jus did chem work.. stil got gp n maths.. i tink i doin maths work.. gg to copy gp.. shit man.. if i go on lyk tat how m i gg to pass my A level.. anywae its a bad time for me to be tinkin abt things now.. its reali hard to stay focus lehz.. how.. someone pls tell me wad i shld do..
Josh Loh
11:20 PM
my cutest cousin.. isnt he adorable..
Josh Loh
12:11 AM
