Sunday, February 12, 2006
dunno why but somehow inside of me im feeling a sense of emptiness, loneliness and sadness all in one.. duno why i have this feelin all of a sudden too.. it might be stil bcos of the break up.. or mayb it might be the fact that im gg to leave ocs soon n gg to be posted to a new unit where i nv heard of.. duno wad to expect after i commission... duno whether to be sad or happy tat im gg to leave ocs and no longer be a cadet on course.. my pc said something today which hit the spot... he said tat when we are young, we shld find ourselves a girlfriend or hav good frens.. he said tat it is necessary to hav them so tat u can hav someone to tell all ur stuff too.. he said tat it is diff to keep everything to urself.. and u need to hav an outlet to release the things off ur chest... i guess wad he says has a point... but sometimes its not tat we dun wanna hav one.. i mean why find a girl if u are nt gg to last for more than a yr.. i mean im not tat young any more.. its time tat i find the right girl to settle down wif.. mayb the first few relationships in my youngers days wil serve a lesson on life to me.. n hopefully they wil teach me some lessons n i hope to learn from them n make the right decisions... dun wan to get hurt so badly agi so soon... well, we'll see how things go from here.. jus wanna enjoy as much as i can.. hope to go out more often wif my frens.. n hope they wil ask me to go out wif them more often too..
Josh Loh
5:05 PM
"Goodbye My Lover"
Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bare my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
Josh Loh
5:05 PM
im feeling kinda shitty now.. anyw its been a super long weekend for me.. i came out on wed nite n im onli bookin in tonite.. its been kinda tiring for me tho.. thurs had the wing cohension then went out to walk walk.. then fri had a soccer game followed by a couple of drinks at balcony then went over to devils bar b4 sendin huiqian off at the airport.. then sat was spent playin soccer wif kel n gang and watchin soccer wif them. then went home to slp till sun 3pm.. i noe u all are gg to say that im a pig.. but considerin tat i barely slpt for more than 8hrs each day since i book out, it time my body got some rest rite? haha.. anyw gg to commission in four weeks time.. nt sure abt where to put for my posting.. but im sure i'll come up wif something soon... i hate it when im home alone and there is nth for me to do.. and when no one asks me out... argh.. sometimes i reali feel lyk killin myself.. sometimes i wonder if i shld hav spent more time wif my frens when i had a gf... and now tat im single agi, somehow i seem to hav slip away from my frens... mayb im jus tinkin too much.. but i sometimes do regret spendin too much time wif me ex.. i gave so much.. but wad do i get in return? i jus get a broken heart... wtf...
Josh Loh
5:05 PM
